


AMBER

by Sadiyakhan28



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Character Death, Death, Depression, Love, Multi, Other, Suicide, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:54:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28173504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadiyakhan28/pseuds/Sadiyakhan28
Summary: Amber marie campbell was living her best life until something happened that changed her life upside down.She did see it coming but she didnt think it would be that soon."He was the only one i truly had and i cant believe he left me, too. " She said.
Relationships: Amber and ash





	1. Attack

**Author's Note:**

> Authors note:  
> This story has a Reference to depression, Delusions, homicide and also serious illness.  
> Not every story has a happy ending.  
> If anything of the above triggers you  
> Then please do not read.  
> Tpwk.

I found myself in a hospital after i got a call from natalie (my best friend) saying that ash (my boyfriend) is in the hospital, it was an empty hallway leading to Unexpected beginnings and ends. 

The lights were glitching. 

Everything felt like it was falling apart. 

The cold breeze were giving me chills. 

I make my way to Ash's room. 

There, i see him laying on the hospital bed. 

His brown eyes meeting mine. 

His white skin was going pale and his green veins were bulging out. 

"Hi" He said through his nebulizer. 

And tears started rolling down to my cheek. 

"Ash" I said, not knowing what else to say. 

I ran towards him and gave him a hug and tried my best to not make his position uncomfortable. 

I sat down on a chair that was kept beside the bed. 

I held his hand and looked into his eyes. 

Everytime i look into his eyes.. I used to see happiness, joy and hope but this time all i could find was darkness and helplessness. 

Though, he stayed quite, his eyes were screaming "i cant do this anymore, i want to give up! ".

I made my grip stronger and with hope i said " Everything will be alright."

I can see the sign of the times.

The night kept getting darker and darker.. And the moon faded away as i drifted off to sleep holding his hand. 

Its been 7 days, 7 days since ash had to get into emergency room due to his asthma attack. 

I met him at a party, when i was 18 (im 24 now) and 

I fell in love at first sight. 

Our relationship has been almost perfect since then, he is loyal and treats me with respect and so do i, everything was going well until last year. 

When he reached level 4 of asthma. 

He frequently had asthma attacks, he also had frequent nighttime awakenings and things just kept getting worse. 

My concern and worrisome also kept getting higher. 

I cant lose him, i cant afford to lose him. 

I cant lose another one. 

My life has been an never ending funeral, some for dead and some who are dead to me. 

After 2 days of taking care, the Doctor discharged him. 

I took him home. 

Our home. 

Yes, we moved in together. 

Its been an year or so. 

Since then, we are almost together all the time. 

Its nice, it feels nice to be in his arms and to be around him most of the time. 

We were on couch, he was sitting with a bowl of popcorn in his hand and my head was on his lap. 

Of course, we were watching a movie, '5 feet apart' to be specific.

I dont know how i ended up crying but i do know why, its not because of the movie but because i was scared. 

Scared that i might lose him. 

He saw the water that i held back in my eyes, he took me into a hug and also called me silly. 

Because why not? 

"Okay hun, i gotta go make dinner, what are we in the mood for tonight?" I asked. 

He pouted with a guilty look on his face and i was confused. 

"Umm,im really not in the mood for anything homemade, why dont we go out and get pizza?"

I agreed instantly, "pizza is never a bad option. "

I quickly got dressed and then i realised that it was not so 'quickly' as ash shouted "honey, im starving! make it quick! " 

I got out of my room and saw ash waiting for me near the door. 

I gave him 'oh look, im here and im ready, now we're good to go' smile, if you know what i mean. 

We got out of the house and made our way to the car. 

Being a gentleman that he is, he opened the door for me and gestured me to get in. 

We were now seated in the car. 

"So where are we going? "

I thought about it for a second or two. 

"You know what?! Lets go to 'big mamas and papas pizzeria' they've got the biggest pizza and ofcourse we will not be able to finish it alone so we will also call natalie and jack? 

And if there's is still any pizza left we'll give it to someone else? "

A small smile appeared on ashs face. 

"Sounds good to me" He answered. 

I then made a call to natalie and told our plan, she asked jack if he was up for some pizza and he agreed and she will be there in half an hour. 

The weather is very pleasent and sky is pretty as always. 

Ash turned on the music and 'cant help falling in love' started playing which made the mood even better. 

I looked at ash, he looked perfect. 

Simple yet perfect. 

His brown hair falling perfectly and his chocolate brown eyes focusing on the way... His veins looked like as if they were rivers themselves. 

Rivers with green water. 

His navy blue shirt fitting him perfectly like a glove 

And his khaki pants are enhancing the beauty of his looks all over. 

"You look beautiful" I murmured. 

He turned around to see me and smiled. 

"You look so pretty too" He said while smiling. 

I smiled in response. 

I understand the fact that we've been in a relationship for almost 7 years now but nothing much has changed between us. 

We are very comfortable with eachother and our relationship only got stronger but complimenting eachother or such romantic, cute or such gestures of love makes us blush. 

I like it though, it shows how we still are in love like the first time we met. 

Its been 20 minutes and now we're at the restaurant. 

We got in and ordered the pizza. 

We were waiting for Natalie and jack. 

Natalie and jack have been together now for 2 years and they're very cute. 

They do get into silly arguments quite often but they're very much in love and it shows. 

While waiting for them ash and i kept talking about our work life and ash got himself french fries and beverage because he is hungry af and a bad friend who can't wait for his friends. 

However, its been 5 minutes and i see them entering the restaurant. 

She is wearing a pretty blue dress and he is wearing a white tshirt with a brown leather jacket and black jeans. 

They both have very different styles but are very stylish young people. 

"Amber! Its been so long since we last met! Oh my god! I missed you so much" And she pulled me into a tight hug that i forgot how to breathe. 

"Okay girl, okay! I missed you too! Now leave me! " I shouted while also laughing. 

She then rolled her eyes and sat on the table. 

I turn around and see that jack is standing awkwardly while ash is busy eating his french fries. 

I sighed quite loudly, ash looked at me with a very confused look on his face and saw jack in front of him

He felt very embarrassed and we could see it on his face. 

Natalie laughed looking at ash. 

Ash rolled his eyes and got up to give jack a hug and handshake with natalie. 

"Long time, no see mate!" Ash said. 

"You were admitted in hospital and we are all busy with the jobs and stuff, ya know? " Jack said. 

"Huh, yes" Ash replied

My heart broke when i heard the word hospital, it's scary. 

Natalie felt my mood going down so she instantly said " Oh yeah, where's the pizza? Im so hungry. "

Just then came the waiter with the pizza. 

Everybodys jaw literally dropped when they saw a 54 inch pizza. 

"WE.CANT.FINISH.THIS.

WE. JUST. CAN'T. " natalie said. 

I laughed at her expressions. 

I've got jokers as my friends, lucky me. 

"We can, mark my words. "Ash said

"Bet? " Jack asked. 

"Bet." He replied

"Of how much?" I asked. 

"How does 30$ sound? " Jack asked. 

Not even a second and ash replied with "deal accepted,sweet lad. "

We started eating. 

Actually started talking, more talking less eating. 

Its been 1 hour and 15 minutes, natalie barely ate anything, jack is drinking more diet coke than eating the pizza, ash is eating as if he has been hungry for ages and i ate 5-6 slices. 

And guess what? 

We've not even completed half of the pizza. 

So you know what's going to happen. 

We ordered icecream because there is always space left for dessert. 

We were done eating and we decided to give the rest of the pizza to the homeless people on the street. 

"Here are your 30$" Ash said while avoiding eye contact with jack. 

Jack laughed and replied with "told ya mate. "

And then i gave natalie a last hug and we departed. 

Now, i was very sleepy. 

I turned on the music. 

I slept while i watching the moon light up this whole world, how can i ever get enough of the beauty of moon? 

I woke up in my bed, still Wearing the same dress. 

I saw the time and it was 3am i guess ash carried me to the bed because he didnt want me to wake up. 

I felt thirsty so i went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. 

I just finished drinking water when i could hear ash coughing. 

I hurried to the room and.. 

He was sleeping peacefully, he looked like a baby. 

I laid down on the bed and turned to ash and i watched him sleep as if it was some ASMR to my eyes. 

I fell back asleep. 

I woke up at 7am because i had to be in office at 8:30am.

I decided to wear a black jumpsuit with simple silver necklace and a rosegold watch. 

Ash made us breakfast, it barely takes him 10 minutes to get ready, i wish my life was that simple. 

But however, he made us some crispy fried beacon with eggs and avocado on toast with a glass of mixed fruit juice. 

"So, how are you feeling now? " I asked while having our breakfast. 

He furrowed his eyebrows and gave me a 'what are you talking about? ' look. 

"Now? What do you mean? What happened to me anyway? Well, im doing good..... And.... How about you ms. Amber?"

I rolled my eyes at him calling me 'ms. Amber'

"Im good! Thank you" I said. 

"Stay tuned for today, its going to be a very exciting day... One of the most important day of my life, i should say. "

"Oh?! " I said out loud in excitement. 

"Whats today?am i forgetting something? Is it your birthday? Ohh wait... Is it our anniversary? Have you been promoted? Oh god im so sorry!"

I said being very nervous and excited. 

"Calm down, love. Its none of the above. You should just wait and watch. "He said. 

"Ohh..... Okay okay" I said in response. 

I checked the time and oh god! it was already 8:15.

"Ash, we're going to be late! Lets get to the car, now! " I said. 

"Okay mam" He said with an eye roll. 

I laughed at his behavior. 

We got into the car. 

We reached our destination in 10-12 minutes. 

As i was about to get out of the car, ash held my hand. 

I turned around and he said "have a great day at work, love. Anything happens or if you need me, im just one call away." With a small smile on his face. 

My heart beat raised. 

"Sure hun, you too have a great day at work. " I replied with huge smile on my face. 

Ash nodded and i got inside the building. 


	2. Memories

Time-12:30pm  
Its now my lunch time, i have a break of 30 minutes and after that I've got huge presentation.   
We've got some special clients today.   
It's a big opportunity for our company and it's quite necessary for them to accept this deal.   
I went to the cafeteria and bought myself a non-veg burger with a pomegranate-berry smoothie which is very delicious that it might make me cry.   
I was sitting at my desk and looking at the view from the big glass wall.   
The weather is very sunny, its a bright blue sky today.   
The sunlight was falling on these high buildings.   
I was enjoying the view and i dont know how i ended up thinking about the miseries in my life.   
Its been 2 years i havent talked to my mother.   
No, am not a bad kid instead the thing is she never really liked me.   
She always chose my brother instead of me and loved him but-but he died.   
He died a few years ago in an accident.   
Mother always told him to be safe to not drive so fast and wear a helmet and gloves but who listens?   
He hit his head and it tore apart.  
I miss him. I miss him so much.   
The day he died, it felt like someone took away the life left in me.   
My father, he was... A cheater.   
He left my mother for another woman.   
He did that when i was still 9 and my brother was 12.  
Ever since then, life hasnt been very easy.   
A father who left and never showed up again.  
A mother who doesnt care.   
A brother, who died in an accident.   
A boyfriend who is suffering from serious illness.   
How can life be so unfair?  
A question always comes into my mind and that is, 'why me?'.  
I wish i had a simple life, a loving mother, a caring brother and a father who is always there and helps the family.   
I never asked for too much but just a loving family.   
Which seems quite impossible now.   
I got back to the present when i heard a knock on the door.   
"You can come in" I said loudly.   
And then i saw my assistant with a bouquet of roses and few chocolates.   
The roses are very beautiful and they now filled my room with their aroma.   
I gave her a confused look but she just kept the bouquet at the side of the table and left.   
I got up and i saw a note which simply said "i love you, beautiful~ ash"  
And oh! My heart is now exploding with all the love.   
I had tears of happiness held in my eyes.   
It feels great, it feels great to have someone who truly loves you.   
I transfered the roses into a beautiful vase that was kept behind.   
I saw the time and it's almost 12:55.  
I gave my face a touch of nude makeup and made myself presentable.   
Im nervous.   
I hope everything goes well. 

Its now 4pm  
I am done with the meeting.   
It went very well and they accepted our deal.   
So now I've got 1 hour left and then i can go home but I've got nothing to do for the next hour.   
I scroll through my social media.   
I watched a couple of youtube videos and its already 4:55.  
I ordered a cab and got back home.   
It was a boring ride, i wish it was ash instead.   
I got back home nearly at 5:20pm.  
I set my bag aside on a table and got inside my room when i saw beautiful BEAUTIFUL peach colored maxi dress.   
There was a note kept beside.   
"Get ready till 6:45pm.  
Meet you on the terrace.   
All the love.   
Yours truly,   
Ash"  
Guess who just died inside?   
Yes. Me.   
OH MY GOD  
im freaked out and nervous af.   
Because what is happening??   
Bouquets? Sweet notes?   
What did i even do to deserve all this love?   
I went in to have a shower and got ready.   
Nothing much just a touch of light makeup and thats it.   
Its 6:45 and my heart is pounding.   
I went to the terrace and saw a round table with a white sheet on it and the whole terrace was filled with rose petals and it smelled so beautiful.   
And there he was, standing near the table in a white tuxedo.   
He looks fantastic by the way.  
The sun is setting, the sky is in pink, blue, yellow and orange shades.   
Too many, i know.   
Its beautiful though.   
I smiled at ash and he came forward to me and gave me a peck on my cheek and took me to the table.   
Now, i was sitting on the table with no idea whats happening.   
Though, i assumed it was a lovely date.   
"This all, its extremely beautiful ash.thank you very much But why? What is it?" I asked  
"You will know darling, just enjoy your meal for now. "  
He then took the lid off the plates.   
and OH MY-  
There was some very delicious looking spaghetti and meatballs, a huge crab with its sauce and cheese sauce, a red velvet cake and an quite expensive champagne bottle at the side.   
"Wow-i-i.. Its so beautiful ash! Im so hungry now! And what the hell is happening??" I said out of excitement.   
He laughed at the way i was speaking.   
"Bon appetite" Is all he said.   
I tried my best to not make it messy but guess what?   
I had sauce all around my lips and ash kept laughing at me for eating so messy.   
He then took a napkin and wiped off the sauce around my lips.   
I smiled and said "thank you"  
He simply nodded with a smile.   
We then kept talking.   
The sun has fully set and the moon was rising.   
"Lets go and have look at the moon. Its very beautiful. " He said.   
I've always loved moon so much.   
Its very beautiful.   
Moonlight is the light brightening my life.   
Its as beautiful as a sunflower.   
We stood near the borders and quietly watched the moon.   
Its been a few minutes we stood there and then ash said  
"Why dont you stand here, I'll be back in a minute? "  
"Where are you going? " I asked.  
"I'll be back love" He said.   
"Okay sure. " I replied.   
I then turned around back to the moon.   
I felt someone patting my shoulder and then i turned around.   
OH MY-OH MY GOD.   
I CANT BELIEVE WHAT IM SEEING.   
IS THIS REAL LIFE?? IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? SOMEONE CALL THE AMBULANCE.   
i see ash, on his knees with a sapphire green ring in his hand.   
He then starts with " So,  
Its been 7 years, 7 years full of love, care and happiness.   
You've been the most important part of my life and you will always be.   
Everytime i look at you my heart skips a beat.   
I am madly in love with you and it feels amazing.   
I promise to always be by your side, to always take care of you, to always love you, to always make you laugh.   
I'll always be there with you, always.   
I want to take this relationship a step forward.   
So, Miss. Amber marie Campbell, will you marry me? "  
Im on a ride of emotions and im dying.   
Im confused, happy, excited and nervous.   
Im already crying.   
"YES. YES. OMG YES! A HUNDRED TIMES YES" I exclaimed.   
I then put my ring finger forward and he gently put it in my finger.   
I then started crying loudly and laughing too? If that makes sense.   
Ash got up from his knees and took me into a tight hug.   
I held him tightly for 5 minutes and probably wet his tuxedo with my tears.   
He then gave a kiss on my forehead and then we cut the cake and had it.   
"Ash, i cant believe im engaged, oh my god! This was so unexpected and beautiful. I'll forever remember this. Its so beautiful. Thank you! I love you so much!   
" Calm down love. Calm down and yes it is beautiful, i love you more. " He said while chuckling.   
I then realised something and...   
"OMG I HAVENT SAID THIS TO NATALIE YET OMG I'VE GOTTA TELL HER! lets video call!"  
Ash laughed and said "okay sure! "  
I made a call and she picked it up.   
"NA-TA-LIE LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MY FINGER! GUESS WHAT?? IM ENGAGED! OMG"  
Natalie was in extreme shock and literally started crying.   
"OH MY GOD AMBER OH MY GOD THAT RING IS SO GORGEOUS OMG! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!" she exclaimed.   
"I know right love! " And then i added "lets meet tomorrow! Im so excited for this! "  
"Yes I'll be there at 7pm."she confirmed.   
"Okay, bye, love you! "I said  
"Love you more! Bye! "She replied.   
I then cut the call and turned around to see ash stupidly smiling at me.   
"What? " I asked in confusion.   
Ash laughed and said "you're very cute. You know? "  
I then rolled my eyes and laughed.   
We then spent the night talking, laughing, drinking and we had fun and we made alot of memories.   
We danced to the best song ever.   
It was a lovely night.   
We got back to our room at 11:30pm.  
I was so tired and it was all too much for me to take in, in one day.   
I got fresh, removed my makeup and did my skin care routine.   
I layed on my bed and scrolled through social media.


	3. Bye

I woke up to sound of ash coughing, its 2:30am.  
His hand held tightly on his chest, he's trying to find his inhaler but at the same time he is wheezing and coughing.   
"Ash! Ash calm down!" I said.   
I then patted his shoulder and rubbed his back.   
I started searching for his inhaler.   
I tried, i tried so much to find it.   
Every second felt heavier than the last.   
His coughs sound kept getting louder and louder and so was his wheezing.   
My eyes teared up and i felt useless.   
I went into the hall and found the inhaler on the table.   
I quickly took it and rushed into the room.   
I saw ash, breathing slowly.. With tears in his eyes.   
I gave it to him and he quickly used it.   
He looked a little better but he was still struggling.   
His body was shaking.   
This is scary.   
Its sad to see him in such condition.   
I got him a glass of water.   
He then took some deep breathes.   
"Thank you" He said.   
"Honey, im so sorry. How are you feeling now? Its better for you to not talk. Im sorry. Please lay down and rest. " I said  
My heart beat was rising higher than ever.   
Its not the first time this has happened.   
It happens every night, and keeps getting worse every night.   
Im scared he'll be admitted in the hospital again.   
He was now completely calm but i could still hear his deep breathes.   
I layed closer to him, kept my hand on his chest and then gave him a soft peck on his cheek.   
I put my hand through his hair and help me fall asleep.   
I couldn't sleep though.   
I watched the hand of the clock hit 12 every hour, i watched the moon get down, i watched the night get darker and darker.   
Every second i felt like i got near to an ending.   
Im scared that it might happen.   
Sooner than i think.   
The sun was now rising and i decided to make myself a cup of coffee.   
I decided not to go office today, to stay back home and take care of ash.   
I went to take shower when i got back, i see that ash is already up.   
"Good morning" I said quietly.   
"Morning love" He replied  
"How are you feeling?" I asked.   
"Im doing better, you seem very dull. Have you not slept? " He asked.   
"Um-yeah, i couldn't" I replied.   
He looked down and nodded.   
I went into the kitchen and made us breakfast.   
I made pancakes with a green smoothie.   
Not that of a good combination but not bad even.   
I could watch ash writing something from the kitchen.   
Something on a piece of paper.   
He then put it inside the desk.   
I called him, "ash! Breakfast is ready. " I said.   
"Im coming. " He replied.   
We then sat down to have breakfast.   
"Mmm, tastes good. Not expected you to be this good. "  
I rolled my eyes at him.   
He laughed.   
"No talking just enjoy your meal, idiot. " I said.   
"Uh huh" He said while smirking.   
I had something important to discuss so after a while i said, "So, you're not going to office today. "  
"Im sorry, what? " He asked in confusion.   
"Yes, you're not going office today. We Will go the hospital."  
"Oh? Am i? " He asked while smirking, again.   
"Yes." I said with a straight face.   
"Okay okay, we will" He replied.   
"You know that its necessary. You've been getting asthma attacks every night now a days. We should get it checked before it gets even worse. "  
"How worse can it get anyway? " He replied with an eye roll.   
"Your eyes are going to come out now also you dont understand this. Isnt it? " I said angrily.   
"Im sorry" Is all he says.   
"Btw, the appointment is at 4pm." I informed.   
"Okay, cool" He replied. 

Its 2pm now.   
I was on couch in hall, working on my laptop when i heard ash coughing.   
I ran inside the room.   
He was standing with his hand holding on to the side table.   
His was so weak.   
I gave him his inhaler but it didnt seem to work.   
His skin got paller than ever.   
I patted his back and rubbed his back.   
But nothing seemed to work.   
Im scared af.   
I don't know whats happening, i dont know why his inhaler isnt working.   
"It will be alright! We'll be alright" I exclaimed.   
I quickly called an ambulance and they were here in 2 minutes.  
I was there, i was there right beside him, so helpless.   
I was there but i could do nothing.   
Absolutely nothing.   
My heart broke.   
The ambulance came and took us to the hospital.   
Seeing his condition he was immediately taken into the ICU.   
I called Natalie and jack and told them to come over.   
The doctors were working on him.   
I saw one of the doctors leave the room, i went and asked them what's wrong.   
"Its his asthma attack, his breathing is so weak that 100% of oxygen he is taking is due to the steroids and a mask."  
I nodded.   
I was not allowed to enter the room.   
But i wanted to.   
I wanted to be there right beside him, holding his hand.   
I wanted it to be over, for him to get better.   
But the things always kept getting worse.   
Natalie and Jack came.   
Natalie was there with me, she kept telling me "everything will be okay" I nodded, thats all i could do.   
Its been half an hour, the doctors are still in the room, still working on him.   
One of the doctors came to us.   
My heart stopped beating.   
It didnt seem like a good news.   
"I-i im so sorry that i have to say this but i couldnt help, he is no more. "  
Thats it. Everything fell apart.   
The world around me stopped.   
Everything did.   
This cant be happening.   
No! No way!   
This cant be true.   
I rushed into the room.   
I dont know what to feel or what to say.   
I cant stop crying.   
He cant leave me like that.   
He is much stronger than that.   
"Ash" I exclaimed slowly.   
Natalie took me into a hug.   
She tried to stop me from crying.   
I know, i did see this coming.   
I knew it was going to happen but not this soon.   
I cant take this, no.   
I want to die.   
I want to be with him.   
I looked at the ring in my finger.   
I cried even louder.   
This can't be it.   
Everything was so perfect last night. The night changed so fast.   
I cant survive without him. No.


	4. Envelope

Its been 2 days since... Since ash left me.   
All alone.   
We gave him a proper funeral and natalie has been with me since then.   
I was going around ash's stuff... His last memories.  
Thats when i found an envelope in the desk.   
It reminded me of day when i was making him breakfast.   
"Hey love,   
I hope you're doing fine.   
You know i havent been doing good lately.   
I don't know whats going to happen. I dont know when you're going to read this, i dont know if I'll survive this.   
But i want to, i want to be there with you.   
I want to hold your hand and look into your eyes and pause that moment for forever.   
You're amazing. You've made my life completely different.   
You're the light that shines in my dark empty heart.   
If i could then i would be with you forever, to make you laugh and to take care of you.   
I wanted you to have some beautiful memories of us and now you do.   
If there is any afterlife then...then I'll meet you again.   
I wont ever leave you again.   
Please, if something happens to me then... Then move on.   
Dont cry, stay happy.   
I love you to the moon and back.   
Yours sincerely,   
Ash. "  
Ouch.   
Every memory comes back as i read this.   
This letter is my last memory of him.   
I dont want this to let go.   
He was the only one i truly had and i cant believe he left me, too.   
It hurts to think about his silly jokes, childish behavior, his touch, his eyes, his eye rolls,his smirk, his everything.   
I miss him.   
I dont think i can ever recover from this.   
I cant ever let him really go away, not from my heart.   
These memories of him will always be there with me  
Even when its just me laying on my bed all alone..his memories will be there with me, if its just me staring at the moon.. His memories will be there with me, if its just me having doing my work.. His memories will be there with me.   
His memories will always haunt me.   
Always. 

Its been a month now.   
All I've got left is a heart broken into trillion pieces.   
A broken heart with so many memories.   
Memories that haunt me every second.   
While every second gets worse and worse.   
The day ash left... Somewhere deep inside i died too.   
Everything just keeps getting worse.   
My world has turned black and white.   
They say blue eyes are like oceans... Maybe they're true but mine do not have any water left in them anymore.   
I've tried so much to be happy, to move one, to forget him atleast forget the sad part.   
But no, nothing works.   
I left everything and everyone... I haven't slept for days.   
Im having a whole lot of different thoughts and i dont know what to do but,   
I cant do this anymore.   
I cant be such a mess.   
I need to move on, to get my broken heart fixed.


	5. Rest in peace

NATALIE'S POV (because this shit is going down)   
Since ash's death, I've been here for amber.   
I see her falling apart everyday.   
It doesnt get any better.   
Everytime i look at her, she is always lost in her dark little own world.   
Where everything is broken and where everything is filled up with sadness.   
I try everyday so much to make her smile and she does even but it's the fakest smile I've ever seen. 

Its 5pm.  
I got back home, i called amber but she didnt respond.   
"Amber, where are you? " I shouted again.   
"Amber? " A little louder.   
I felt like something very wrong has happened.   
I searched for her in every room and the bathroom but i couldnt find her.   
I called her, thinking if she went out but most probably not because she has never left the house since ashs death.   
I could hear her phone ring.. I searched for it.   
It was lying on the corner of bed.   
I was so tensed but then i realised i haven't checked the terrace.   
I quickly went on the terrace and saw amber in a peach dress that i guess ash gifted her.   
She was talking to someone but there was literally nobody else than her.   
I went near and i could see her smiling.   
"I missed you so much ash" Amber said.   
Oh sweet lord! I guess she is having delusions.   
I feel bad for her, she is so lost and sad that she started seeing ash.   
I patted her shoulder but she didn't respond.   
I then snapped my fingers in the air and she turned around, looking very scared.   
She then greeted me peacefully as if nothing has happened.   
"Hi nat,How was your day? " She asked.   
"Hey amber. I had a good day. What are you doing on the terrace? " I asked.   
"Oh" She took a while and replied with " I dont really remember, i guess i was watching the sun set. "  
"Oh, okay." I said.   
"Lets go down, i have some plans for us tonight. " I said.   
"Oh, like? "She asked out of curiosity.   
" Come with me" I said.   
I actually had no plans but i wanted to brighten her mood so i thought maybe we would turn up the music, dance a bit, have good food and watch a movie.   
We got down and then i turned on music.   
'Slow down' by selena Gomez, its a good song to dance on.   
We then started watching 'the ritual'.   
I then went into the kitchen and made us popcorn and got us two bottles of beer.   
Amber held me tight all the time.   
Such a baby.   
She then fell asleep on couch so i brought her to bed and fell asleep. 

I woke up to the sound of amber crying.   
She was sitting right beside me.   
"What happened amy? " I asked.   
"Um, nothing it was just a dream. "  
"What was it? " I asked.   
"Ash" She murmured.   
It would be hard for her to express her feelings so i decided to not ask any further.   
"Its alright, try to sleep" I said   
She nodded and laid back down.   
I watched her stay awake all night.   
With tears never stopping.   
I wonder what was the dream. 

I didnt sleep last night, i just couldnt get amber out of my head.   
Im genuinely concerned for her, i know she is depressed but whatever she is doing, its ruining her.   
I got up from bed and went to the kitchen to make us breakfast.   
Today, jack joined us for breakfast.   
I made cheese egg quesadilla with some orange juice.   
We were eating our breakfast when amber said "it was our wedding. "  
I looked up at her.   
"What are you talking about? " I asked with confusion written all over my face.   
"The dream, it was our wedding. "She answered.   
And all of the sudden i felt the pain that she did.   
" Its just that, it could have been true, it could have been more than just a dream.   
I could have married him.   
It was just some days back that i got engaged and then * a deep pause* he left. "She said.   
"Love, i know exactly what you mean.   
But some things are just not meant to be.   
Just wait and have patience, everything will get better.   
And im right here with you, dont do this to yourself,please."   
I said.   
She nodded and Continued to have her breakfast.   
"Okay, now I've gotta go. Please take care of yourself and stay safe. I'll be back at 5pm.  
Love you, bye" I said because i had to be at office in less than 10 minutes.   
"Love you too. Bye" She responded with a small smile on her face. 

Its 3pm

I keep calling amber once or twice to checkup on her.   
So, i made her a call.   
She didn't respond.   
I called her again and she didnt respond.   
Now im worried about her.   
I texted her and left her a few voice notes.   
I waited for 10 minutes and i couldnt any longer.   
I quickly left to home.   
Once i got back, everything was so silent.   
It felt wrong.   
I could hear my own steps and every second i felt like someone was stabbing my heart with a knife.   
"Amber?" "Amber where are you? "   
This time i checked terrace first but she wasnt there.   
"Amber?? " I called out loudly.   
I thought to check the bathroom, that was the only place left now.   
"Amber? Are you inside? " I said while knocking the door.   
I broke into the washroom.   
And.. And it happened.   
The thing i was scared of the most.  
She was drowning in blood.   
And that's where her story ends, as the knife in her hand went through her heart.


End file.
